We don’t realize how our words/actions or lack there of really can break someone’s spirits. I bet we can think of several times where someone has done us wrong. Said something that just broke our heart to the point where we replay that in our minds until we finally fall asleep at night. Trust me I have been there just yesterday actually. Some unkind words were said about me. It didn’t make me angry as I figured it would, but it hurt me. I started letting it break my spirit word by word and piece by piece. I stayed up until 3 o’clock this morning knowing that I had to get up at 5 am for work. I told myself I just couldn’t let it go. The later it got that I kept thinking about how hurt I was, I started to realize that someone has been in this same boat because of me. Didn’t see that one coming did you? I didn’t either until God started talking to me. I realized that we have all caused someone to not be able to sleep at night or shed tears because of something that we have said or done. No we are not proud of it, however we are human. We make mistakes. Yet, we need to stop and realize that we need to be held accountable for our words and our actions. We need to realize that our words can hurt people. We all feel and take things differently. “Little do we know” how someone is going to take we have said or done. We need to show love to each other more instead of just remarks full of cattiness, envy ,etc. We need to show others the love of Jesus even those that might make us want to roll our eyes. Trust me when I say it is easier said than done, but we need to remember when we are hurting because of someone how someone else has felt because of us. We need to make sure that our words help heal and encourage instead of hurt and derailing someone. Which actions are your words proclaiming?
Last Sunday marked six months since me and Patrick said I DO. It has definitely been an adventure. You hear all your life that the first year of marriage is hard. For me the word “hard” should really be replaced with the word different. I love my husband and am thankful that he loves me no matter what. He’s the most caring man I know. He’s my protector/rock. However, this time last year as I envisioned being married… I know its a cliche but I pictured the illusion of a white picket fence. The idea that marriage was just going to be perfect. I now realize that no one is perfect and neither is marriage, hence I use the word different. We have just now (like last week) finally got accustomed to living with each other. His routines and habits are very different than mine. He leaves the lid off the toothpaste, and I forget to make the bed a majority of the time. He likes to keep everything and I’m more of a “less is best” kind of gal. I like it freezing in the house and he likes it warm. We have so many differences but its those differences that make it fun. Marriage is what you make of it. Both you and your spouse have to give 100% . If I could give advice to any one getting married soon it would probably consist of three things.
1. Patience: I’m not a very patient person. I like that instant gratification of many things, but marriage is not one of those. Both you and your spouse must have patience with each other to make your marriage grow. If you do not have patience there will be a lot of unwanted and unnecessary frustration and arguments. Be patient with yourself also. Marriage is about learning each other and yourself… It takes time.
2. Me-Time: You must make time for yourself. I know when you get married you think you want to spend all of your time with your new spouse and while you should want to, yet you also have to have the me-time to recharge. My husband likes to hunt and fish and I like to shop and get my nails done. When he goes hunting/fishing and I go do my thing it gets us away from each other to focus on ourselves even if just for a few hours. That time away helps us to miss our spouse and can avoid from again unwanted frustration.
3. Support: Be your spouses’ biggest cheerleader. Support them. I know when I am excited about something I can’t wait to tell my husband. My face gets red and my voice gets even louder. When you show excitement/support for your spouse it shows that someone has their back, and really isn’t that one of the main roles of marriage? I know that no matter what I do that my husband will support me and hoop and holler for me always.
I have only been married six months and am by no means an expert at marriage, but for me these are a few ways that can help your marriage be the best it can be. It goes back to the golden rule. “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Are you treating your spouse like you would want to be treated?